Bollywood wedding and sandwich indigestion: all in one weekend

Indian weddings. I did not imagine there were so big until I attended Shailesh's this last weekend.

Shailesh was totally unreasonable with his advice on the dressing code "just wear whatever you feel like wearing". Tip number 1: never ever ask a guy (the groom) for dressing code if you go to a wedding, even less if the wedding is Indian. Cotton kurtas with trousers are clearly not enough. You need some viscose and shiny stuff.

Love, friendship and great people ruled. Luxury and glamour spiced it up.



Indian weddings are a mix of rituals very difficult to understand by foreigners, temple visits, sangeets (dancing parties), tons of (mostly vegetarian) food, more dancing and loads of family and extended family wearing amazingly beautiful clothes. I could not stop checking the ladies' silk saris, the men's fine kurtas (hot look), the golden jewelry adorning big-eyed Indian beauties. I felt like coming from Mars a couple of times. But I also felt an immense joy for Shailesh and Shilpa.

I think I need a holiday after this amaaaazing wedding. Can you imagine how the newlywed feel? I literally did nothing apart from following the crowd and eating...how would I feel after smiling for 3 days and saying thank you to hundreds of guests? Plus all the emotion, devotion and prays.




Back in Thanjavur, I guess I now better understand when the rural remote poor lie in their application for loans. They almost always declare during loan enrollment that the purpose of the loan is productive...well, often the real objective is to productively and plentifully pay for a daughter's wedding. Thanjavurians like any other rural population in some parts of the world run into indebtedness to pay for dowry and celebrations. And I wonder, what can we do against that? At work we are debating on financial literacy and financial education as I write this email. Some papers say it works, some papers say it does not. How can we teach poor people that oftentimes are illiterate on how to better spend the 10.000 Rs loan? Shall we do it a all?

I believe we could and we should. As I read somewhere teaching financial management at the microlevel could be as simple as advising somebody to drink 2 teas instead of 5 per day. Unless the microfinance business becomes totally client-oriented and is able to change the client's life beyond giving him/her a loan I believe there is no fight to poverty.

Anyway, back to Bollywood. India amazes me for the amount of contrast that you can face in a single minute. Yesterday I went from the fanciest shopping mall in Chennai to Chennai's Eggmore station to catch my train to Thanjavur. On my way, I bought a vegetarian sandwich and some chips. I camped in the station close to a plug to charge my cell and started eating my sandwich peacefully and not looking at man who can sometimes take any look as a chat invitation. Suddenly a strange feeling invaded me, I looked at the corners where people slept, unpleasant smell filled my senses, people pushing and fighting to get a ticket, barefoot children, groups of young men heading to work abroad, tired faces, underweight elders, some blood traces on the floor, a lady sweeping the unswappable, a couple sleeping on the floor...and yet, there I was eating my veg sandwich and waiting for my AC sleeper seat. I was probably judging their lives without even knowing them, they were probably doing the same with me.

I ate my sandwich, unplugged my cell and took the train. Back in Thanjavur I know I can not give shoes to those barefoot or employ those who leave for slavery-like kind of jobs...I can only listen, understand, smile and contribute with my work so the contrast lessens.

This posting is full of contrasts, I know. That's how it feels in this corner of the planet.